SNOOP DOGG: THAT’S MY WORK 2

Snoop Dogg? Smokes cannabis, you say? Come off it, no way. Really? That guy? I’m not buying it. You mean the rapper who became an honorary rasta for all of 20 minutes and whose mixtape cover is his face arranged with buds to make him look like a massively stoned Che Guevara? Shut up.

LIL MONE: MARILYN MONROE

Marilyn Monroe’s only cultural relevance in 2014 is when things she didn’t say are attributed to her in the Twitter bios of teenage girls and adults who should know better. The antithesis of gully rap shit, a chain and a tear tat doesn’t really suit our Norma Jean so well.

SMOKE DZA: GEORGE KUSH DA BUTTON

While most of these mixtape covers are examples of crap modern computer graphics, Smoke DZA has gone back in time to the poorly drawn, late 90s cartoon backpack rap cover. What would you do if you were president? Turn the Oval Office into a weed farm.

JUICY J BLUE: DREAM & LEAN

Memphis Tennessee’s happiest living rapper Juicy J doesn’t really need to worry about what his mixtape covers are like, cuz the people want it whatever happens. But goddamn Juicy, you could have made it look a bit less like the poster for Jay & Silent Bob: Adventures With Promethazine.

WIZ KHALIFA: WHERE’S WIZ

This one’s rubbish, primarily because it’s making a mockery of the Where’s Wally franchise. There’s no game element here: Wiz Khalifa is quite clearly in the foreground with a couple of kilos of weed – or a nightcap as he would call it. This is the most stoner Where’s Wally ever: minimal effort required.

LIL BIBBY: FREE CRACK II

Imagine being invited to the toilets for a cheeky bump of adulterated baby laxative, opening the wrap, placing it on the cistern, only to see the slightly desiccated face of Chicago’s Lil Bibby staring right back at you. An absolutely nightmarish prospect; try crushing that with a debit card.

YOUNG SCOOTER: 80’S BABY

Is this an homage to Biggie’s Ready To Die cover? Or just the world’s youngest coke dealer (smuggle it in soiled Pampers, that’s what I’d do)? Either way, Scooter’s bonce has been crassly superimposed on a baby’s body, like somebody doctoring their family photos after their partner does a runner.

PEEWEE LONGWAY: THE BLUE M&M

Good Lord, this one has it all. Purple drank. City sky at night. Stacks of racks. Supercar. Sneakers hanging off an electricity line. A cute childhood character gone gangsta. All it needs is a pile of Hennessy bottles, 17 Cuban cigars and some AK-47s and it’d be the most cliched rap cover of all time.