Feet are too often the overburdened, ugly cousins of hands. We stand on them. We batter them against the ground. We encase them in tight leather or plastic. And yet they are capable of extraordinary skill and dexterity. And often beauty too, because they are a primeval expression and connection between music and the unconscious. First they might twitch a little, then tap along, and then spring into life into extraordinary movement in dance, so it is no wonder that there are so many songs about, or featuring, feet.
How big should feet be? For centuries, Chinese women were oppressed with the tradition of feet binding, because it was believed that smaller the were, the better – a cruelty described most famously in Jung Chang's Wild Swans. But at the other end of the scale there are the famous size 11s of the glamorous Uma Thurman, here twitching into life out of paralysis in Quentin Tarantino's Kill Bill part 1, and connecting brain and feet in the most stylish and dramatic of ways.
Michael Jackson, James Brown, Rudolf Nureyev, Sylvie Guillem and Vaslav Nijinsky may be on any list of the past century's greatest dancers, but perhaps the man whose toes twinkled brightest may be that silky charmer Fred Astaire, someone at whom my mum still swoons when any old black and white movie appears on TV. Are there any better?
Although there are many to choose from, your song nominations don't necessarily have to be about dancing feet. We can be knocked or swept our off feet, think on our feet, be dead on our feet, get cold feet, itchy feet, get back on your feet, vote with your feet, or have the world at your feet. Washing feet is particularly pleasurable. We can get off on a good or bad foot. We can be rushed off feet, get under feet, but your best foot forward and have feet in two camps. We can stamp, or put our feet down. And we can tip-toe too, toes being very much relevant to this topic. And feet, based on the 12in size, is also a system of measurement, with everything from being six feet under to feeling 10 feet high. Bear in mind that we've previously covered boots and shoes, but that still leaves a stampede of possibilities.
Foot painters are extraordinary and show that adaptation out of disability can turn feet into instruments as dextrous as hands. But the most famous, and best paid foot artists are of course footballers. Who is the best, and who the most lauded? George Best? Diego Maradona? Johan Cruyff? Eric Cantona? Cristiano Ronaldo? Lionel Messi? That's a debate that will never end, but with a mesmeric documentary film about him, perhaps it's worth throwing Zinedine Zidane into the mix here, and enjoy watching some foot dexterity that arches across a green canvas like art, and moves effortlessly like music.
Passing from this, the sublime, to the comical and clumsy, I'm also a fan of the misplaced commentary. This week, I'd like to flag up a few foot-based classics from former Manchester United and Chelsea man Ray Wilkins, now a terribly earnest, egg-shaped pundit. Here's Ray at his most profound:
"The interesting thing about Nani is that he has two feet."
"Unfortunately, we keep kicking ourselves in the foot."
And also touching on that connection with the brain: "He's got a great right foot, and if he can get his head around that he'll be a great player." Any more quoted gems like this are very welcome.
Some people really prize their feet, perhaps above any other part of their body. Some people, such as this woman, don't like to wear shoes, ever, not even in the coldest winter. And I once met former Thin Lizzy guitarist Brian "Robbo" Robertson, many years after the death of the great Phil Lynott. It was on my birthday, which by coincidence, we share (though he is several years older).
Robbo doesn't like to wear shoes much. In fact he wears flip-flops most of the year round. "Free your feet," he said to me, and so now I say unto you, dear RR readers, to free your feet songs and nominate them below. I hear there are several thousand out there. Let's see. So please vote with your feet in comments. This week's podiatric professor will be the excellent sonofwebcore, who will slip into smart guru shoes then inspect and line up your suggestions by next Thursday 1 May from nominations put forward by last orders (11pm BST) on Monday 28 April.
To increase the likelihood of your nomination being considered, please:
• Tell us why it's a worthy contender.
• Quote lyrics if helpful, but for copyright reasons no more than a third of a song's words.
• Provide a link to the song. We prefer Muzu or YouTube, but Spotify, SoundCloud or Grooveshark are fine.
• Listen to others people's suggestions and add yours to a collaborative Spotify playlist.
• If you have a good theme for Readers recommend, or if you'd like to volunteer to compile a playlist, please email peter.kimpton@theguardian.com or adam.boult@theguardian.com
• There's a wealth of data on RR, including the songs that are "zedded", at the Marconium. It also tells you the meaning of "zedded", "donds" and other strange words used by RR regulars.
• Many RR regulars also congregate at the 'Spill blog.
