Good news, everyone! On Thursday night, that symbol of ghastly overpriced real estate, that south of the river (Thames) outpost for OTT accommodation for the denizens of the world's most discredited financial centre, that site of an indubitably preposterously expensive hotel, but with admittedly pretty good views – yes, I am talking about Renzo Piano's The Shard – has its inauguration in a spectacular son et lumière show that will light up the London skyline. The show will be accompanied by every event organiser's favourite orchestra at the moment, the London Philharmonic. I say that, because the orchestra were responsible for what was billed as one of the "wow" moments of the Queen's washed-out boat pageant, gamely playing on a barge through the rain, and some of their woodwind and brass players have just made a film for a limited edition Mini, playing God Save the Queen on the assembled Minis' car-horns – an unfortunately un-ironic homage to Team GB, since it's played on cars owned, built, and sold by the really rather teutonic BMW.

Anyway, the music the LPO is playing to give the Shard its sonic send-off is a disappointing selection, but maybe it's supposed to be tongue-in-cheek: Copland's Fanfare for the Common Man – some hope, since the only meaningful access mere commoners are likely to have to the building is to be granted a brief glimpse of the London skyline from the viewing gallery – and the Finale from Stravinsky's Firebird, that hymn to supernatural redemption. Not quite sure of the connection there, or about the symbolism of a flying bird of fire being used to open a tall building, especially since there were better choices easily available to the Shard and the LPO. As a glittering hymn to man's overweening ambition and a comically priapic symbol of Britain's bankruptcy (The Shard is owned by a Qatari consortium), much better to have chosen one of Elgar's melancholy visions of the end of empire, like the slow movement of the Second Symphony, or the first movement of the Cello Concerto. Or how about the sardonic triumphalism of the finale of Shostakovich's Fifth Symphony, or maybe the tragic hollowness of the first movement of the Fifteenth? Better yet, there's that paean to the cycles of imperial rise and fall, Thomas Ades's America: A Prophecy. But perhaps that's all mere cynicism. Maybe the LPO's performance heralds an era in which the Shard becomes London's highest-altitude performance venue, with orchestras beaming their performances from gigantic loudspeakers suspended from the top of the building, a sonic beacon of classical music that can resound throughout the metropolis… We can always dream.