Låpsley
Falling Short (XL)
“One month till February/ Keep on holding on,” wails sadcore singer Låpsley on her debut single. It’s basically a waiting-for-February-payday anthem – the perfect track to listen to while you’re eating beans straight from the can or rediscovering Lidl’s mark-down section while regretting spending £10 on a Secret Santa gift that you’re 100% certain got left on the bus after the work Christmas party – but all sung in the kind of gorgeous, husky, soulful tones that warm you from the inside. Which is handy, as you can’t afford to put the heating on.
ALSO OUT THIS WEEK
Black Veil Brides
Goodbye Agony (Republic)
It’d be easy to make fun of Black Veil Brides: the overwrought lyrics that make bugger-all sense; the video, which we can politely describe as “post-apocalyptic goth”; the way the band decided to ditch the Kiss-style heavy makeup, and now take themselves really, really seriously. But let’s be honest: there are millions of teenagers going through awkward goth stages they’ll later regret who will love this track. Just remember, kids: heavy eyeliner and stripey tights flatter no one, and that poetry you’re writing is probably rubbish.
Fences Feat Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
Arrows (Elektra)
If you like tracks that make you think your iTunes has somehow got stuck on a three-second loop, you will love Arrows. Fences only really have enough lyrics for a two-minute song, so their singer just keeps repeating them over and over again, giving you the confusing feeling of being in a musical whirlpool. Macklemore pops up halfway through to rap about how hard it is to be famous, and the track also purportedly features Ryan Lewis. Where is this mysterious man? No one knows what he does or what he looks like; he didn’t even turn up to the video shoot, yet I bet he’s still splitting those royalties straight down the middle with Macklemore. Ryan Lewis: you have the easiest job in pop.
Kindness Feat Robyn
Who Do You Love (Female Energy)
“It’s so simple & SO emotions!” claims a YouTube commenter and guess what? They’re right. SO emotions! It’s a bit 80s, a languid stroll through a song, and probably soundtracking a totally emosh scene in Girls very soon.
Nick Jonas
Chains (Island)
Against all odds, given than it’s made by the youngest Jonas brother – you remember: a bit hotter than Kevin but not as hot as Joe – Chains is a massive banger. It’s Nick’s crack at alt-R&B, and despite the slightly dodgy attempt at rhyming “chains” with “change”, it’s really good, sounding a bit like Justin Timberlake with light 50 Shades bondage imagery. In fact, it officially makes Nick’s solo career the second most successful out of all three Jonas brothers – after Kevin, who retired from pop to renovate houses. You can’t beat property development as a business model.
