QUEENS OF THE STONE TEMPLE PILOTS

Rock groups swap members the way fridge-freezer salesmen swap wives. Queens Of The Stone Age’s ex-members have their own Wikipedia page while Josh Homme has also played with Eagles Of Death Metal and Them Crooked Vultures. Stone Temple Pilots singer Scott Weiland jumped ship to join 70% of Guns N’ Roses in Velvet Revolver, eventually being replaced in STP with the guy from Linkin Park. LinkedIn Park, more like! It’s surely only a matter of time before Homme and Weiland find themselves in each other’s bands; a name that sounds like the drag wing of a masonic order is a good start.

CASTODON

Perhaps unwittingly, Cast and Mastodon have been edging towards each other in recent years. Looking to sprinkle a little (Cast-er?) sugar on their sludge-metal, Mastodon have been working a cleaner, more accessible sound. Britpoppers Cast have been trying to give their scally jangle more weight, and more to the point, some of the band now work in Footlocker. We look forward to bright, Merseybeat-inflected versions of Iron Tusk and songs about astral-travelling sea monsters – and to the almighty hiding John Power will receive if he tries to sing anything like, “I guess I’m all right, I guess I’m doing fine.”

GHOSTFACE CILLA

Wu-Tang general Ghostface Killah is known for his artful soul sampling. And who in all honesty wouldn’t like to hear the scouse Dusty Springfield lend her brassy tones to Whip You With A Strap? Of course, we’re assuming they’d only be pursuing a musical collaboration. But Ghost is a storytelling supremo, and there is no story more compelling than the pursuit of love. This raises the mouthwatering prospect of “Our Graham” being supplanted by “Our Ghostface”, the gruff, obscenity-charged new voice of Blind Date. Whether summarising contestants’ love prospects or sending them to Staten Island to file down serial numbers on firearms, it’s fun for all the family.

CHERPUSHER

At first glance, big-haired pop goddess Cher and berserk, avant-jazz brutalist Squarepusher seem to have nothing in common. Look closer, and you’ll see it’s even less than that. Still, who knows what Cher’s music sounds like these days? Last we heard – 1998 – she was pioneering the Auto-Tune, an effect that makes people sound like robots. Squarepusher, meanwhile, recently released an album played entirely by robots. He could build a robot Cher for her Vegas residency and the pair could sneak off to play the slots without anyone in the audience noticing.

FAT WHITE AND THE FAMILY STONE

Why would a musical icon such as Sly Stone hook up with a band formed in a squat, who ride donkeys into pubs? Fat White Family may look like the collective embodiment of gonorrhea, but there’s a lot of psych-funk-rock common ground between them and the wasted, racially integrated, ego-divided Family Stone. Sly and team spent the entire 70s taking it in turns to go awol or pass out from drugs while bona fide gangsters handled their business affairs. They could actually learn some sense from their hard-working new pals, while teaming up with genuine reprobates might finally turn Brixton’s Fat Whites into the transgressive band they aspire to be.

FLEETWOOD MACKLEMORE

With a new album to flog next year, the endless return of the Mac requires a new story. They’ve been through more lineups than a police constable, so why not add a privileged, “issues confronting” pop-rapper to the mix? OK, Macklemore is a dweebish tryhard who raps about thrift shops and wears oversized furs that make him look like Alex the lion from Madagascar. But an album of Californian AOR anthems about soft-hitting issues – such as how you can actually get good wine at the supermarket these days – would probably sell upwards of 100m.