1. 

   “I’m forever near a stereo saying, ‘What the fuck is this garbage?’ And the answer is always the Red Hot Chili Peppers.”

   1. 

      Nick Cave

   2. 

      Scott Walker

   3. 

      Josh Homme

   4. 

      Adam Ant

2. 

   "Coldplay are the dictionary definition of corporate rock. The singer is about as weird as Phil Collins. They are career rock personified. EMI should’ve signed Otis The Aadvark instead"

   1. 

      Bono

   2. 

      Noel Gallagher

   3. 

      Matt Bellamy out of Muse

   4. 

      Alan McGee

3. 

   "Jack White has just written a song for Coca-Cola. End of. He ceases to be in the club. And he looks like Zorro on doughnuts."

   1. 

      Damon Albarn

   2. 

      Liam Gallagher

   3. 

      Noel Gallagher

   4. 

      Neil Hannon

4. 

   "I get really tired of [Arcade Fire's] pompousness. We’ve played some shows with them and they really treat people like shit. Whenever I’ve been around them, I’ve found that they not only treated their crew like shit, they treated the audience like shit. They treated everybody in their vicinity like shit. I thought, ’Who do they think they are?’"

   1. 

      Elton John

   2. 

      Chris Martin out of Coldplay

   3. 

      Wayne Coyne from The Flaming Lips

   4. 

      Ghostface Killah

5. 

   "You could go to any Levellers concert and stand in the middle and shout, 'Jeremy!, and 75% of the audience would turn round."

   1. 

      Billy Bragg

   2. 

      Paul Weller

   3. 

      Richey Edwards from the Manics

   4. 

      Bono

6. 

   "If Morrissey says not to eat meat, then I’m going to eat meat - that’s how much I hate Morrissey."

   1. 

      Robert Smith of The Cure

   2. 

      Peter Hook of New Order

   3. 

      Elton John

   4. 

      Kate Bush

7. 

   “I detest Stevie Wonder. I think Diana Ross is awful. I hate all those records in the Top 40 — Janet Jackson, Whitney Houston. I think they’re vile in the extreme.”

   1. 

      Lou Reed

   2. 

      Stuart Murdoch out of Belle & Sebastian

   3. 

      Brett Anderson

   4. 

      Morrissey

8. 

   "[Suede's] pseudo-bumboy androgyny is more Grange Hill than Bowie”

   1. 

      Morrissey

   2. 

      Luke Haines out of The Auteurs

   3. 

      Damon Albarn

   4. 

      Paul McCartney

9. 

   "I'm glad I've given up drugs and alcohol. It would be awful to be like Keith Richards. He's pathetic. It's like a monkey with arthritis, trying to go on stage and look young."

   1. 

      Mick Jagger

   2. 

      Brian Wilson

   3. 

      Elton John

   4. 

      Pete Doherty

10. 

    “I feel sorry for Keane. No matter how hard they try they’ll always be squares. Even if one of them started injecting heroin into his cock people would go: ‘Yeah but your dad was a vicar. Good night’.”

    1. 

       Noel Gallagher

    2. 

       Ian Brown

    3. 

       Bono

    4. 

       Jay-Z

Solutions

1:A, 2:D, 3:C, 4:C, 5:C, 6:A, 7:D, 8:B, 9:C, 10:A

Scores

1. 1 and above.

   You know who's not done very well at this quiz? You.

2. 5 and above.

   Average: like an album track on a Paul Weller solo album

3. 8 and above.

   Almost brilliant, like any Radiohead album since the nineties

4. 10 and above.

   Are you an archivist of rock insults? You know your beefs.