Monkey pointed out last week that London Evening Standard proprietor Evgeny Lebedev had lost his trademark beard, linking it to the royal visit to the paper.

However, it turns out that Lebedev didn’t trim his stubble for Charles and Camiila, but in a stunt for Comic Relief’s Red Nose Day.

Being Lebedev, he didn’t go to any just barber to do the deed, but rather to his “darling friend” Sir Elton John.

Lebedev confesses he is “absolutely terrified [about] what I look like underneath”.

“We’re going to start the process and denude Mr Lebedev of his facial monstrosity,” says Elton, boasting that he is revealing “flesh that hasn’t been seen for years”.

The singer expertly crafts Lebedev’s facial hair into Hulk Hogan-style handlebars, saying “Oh my God, Engelbert”. He then moves on to a Freddie Mercury look, of which Elton appears particularly proud.

After a brief Hitler-style toothbrush moustache, Elton shaves off first one of Lebedev’s eyebrows and then the other.

“I lost everything for Comic Relief,” says the Independent owner. “I look absoutely terrifying. What are you going to do for Comic Relief?”

Elton concludes: “Next year, his balls.”

Monkey may go as far as dyeing a tail for Red Nose Day – readers who would also to contribute should click here for more ideas.