As Philip Hammond left the stage and the Tory delegates in Birmingham commenced their hubbub in anticipation of David Cameron’s speech, a record of such blinding obviousness was piped throughout the hall that it’s hard to be believe it hasn’t been the official Conservative theme for decades. “Sun is shining in the sky,” trilled ELO’s Jeff Lynne, “there ain’t a cloud in sight.” Just the one song was played before Michael Gove stepped up to introduce Cameron – at some length – but when that one song is Mr Blue Sky, why dilute the message with anything else?
Leaving aside the do-you-see-what-we-did-there nature of the title – positing Cameron not just as true blue, but also the bringer of happiness to all and sundry – Mr Blue Sky fits Tory values down to the ground. For all their grandeur, ELO were a deeply conservative proposition, with one basic function: to remind people how good the Beatles were. The past is a foreign country; they do things better there. Lyrically, too, it’s a reminder to the Tory activists that the grass isn’t greener on the Farage side of the fence: “Hey there, Mr Blue/ We’re so pleased to be with you/ Look around, see what you do/ Everybody smiles at you.” Wishful thinking, perhaps, but certainly what the Tory leadership would like the rank-and-file to be thinking.
Finally, after Gove left the stage, the lights dimmed and an inspiring video was played as Cameron’s intro tape. Highlights of the Tory greats speaking – DC, Theresa May and so on – were backed by the Killers’ hit All These Things That I’ve Done, which was curious choice for two reasons. First, because Gove had been banging on about how strong and forthright the Tories were on the world stage, and that Cameron could be trusted to take military action, but the famous refrain of that song runs: “I got soul but I’m not a soldier.” Well, mate, if he’s boasting about not being a soldier, should you be making claims about his military prowess? Second, because a refrain that is no more than a meaningless string of words striving for profundity seems uncannily like an apt metaphor for so many modern political speeches.
