Tseba 

Tseba: the 10 funniest things I have ever seen (on the internet)

The musician and DJ spends his time either scrolling or laughing at drunk patrons. Both are well-represented in his list
  
  

Tseba
‘I am always voraciously consuming memes’ … Tseba. Photograph: Rahnee Bliss

I have been working as a touring DJ and music producer for more than a decade. This means I have spent 10 years with a phone in one hand and laptop in the other. Whether in the studio or at the airport waiting to go to the next show, I am always voraciously consuming memes online.

The only time I’m not scrolling is when I’m in the DJ booth, where I find a different kind of amusement (laughing at drunk patrons’ banal song requests).

1. Tahini Magic

This song is not laugh-out-loud funny but has such delightful whimsy that I had to include it. It is hard to find a song that is cute, jokey and informative at the same time. Note the cough with reverb at 1.34 – what a beautiful coda!

2. Travis Scott’s Auto-Tuned fall

You have heard Auto-Tune thousands of times on the radio or during gigs. However, you probably haven’t heard someone using it while falling. Here is a slapstick, Auto-Tuned yelp delivered by Travis Scott.

3. Four sambucas!

If you have ever deejayed you know the pain of belligerent patrons bombarding you with demands. Here is someone being so drunk they confuse the DJ with a bartender. The corny tune in the background really sets the scene.

4. Last Christmas Donkey Kong rap

When people think of Christmas songs they usually think of Jingle Bells or All I Want for Christmas Is You. For me, the yuletide period brings a very different song to mind. If you are fan of Donkey Kong 64 you will love this, and if you are a fan of Wham! you will love it even more.

5. Oovoo javer

This viral Vine has found a steadfast place in my lexicon. Merely talking about an Uber in my presence will make me quote this. I have no respect for the proper title of the transnational corporation. An Uber driver will always be an oovoo javer to me.

6. I like that laugh

We love to hate Justin Bieber, yet here he is appealing to us in the most primitive way. I know that mocking someone’s laugh is extremely infantile – a schoolyard taunt reserved for the lowest common denominator. But it is funny.

7. IDF Swiftie

One of the greatest tweets of all time. As if stan culture wasn’t bizarre enough already, imagine that one particular account went inactive for draft-dodging conscription into the Israeli Defense Forces.

8. Talking dog

I relish telling people that the 2002 cinematic masterpiece Scooby-Doo was filmed in Queensland. Not only is it a great film but we can thank it for this beautiful interview. I love the difference between the passionate, vivacious Sarah Michelle Gellar and the curt, ungracious Freddie Prinze Jr.

9. Balegdah

I shamelessly enjoy the pop music of Little Mix. Here is a former member, Jesy Nelson, attempting a Jamaican accent. It’s not just Nelson’s vocal delivery here but also her oral posturing and how she contorts her face that makes it so funny.

10. He’s a producer

Shamelessly including my own material here. This tweet may be a little esoteric to some but it certainly captured the attention of all the music producers out there. Being a music producer and a DJ are analogous but they are not the same! This meme is for everyone who has ever had to defend a music producer erroneously referred to as a lowly disc jockey.

 

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