We began the day with Billy Eichner singing about how much he loves Taylor Swift, so it seems apt to end it with Parks & Rec’s Nick Offerman singing about how much he loves whiskey.

Have a good one y’all.

I was expecting a Terminator: Genesys trailer today, but what I forgot to take into account was that it’s 9:40am in Hollywood and so it’s probably going to be tomorrow’s blog.

Still, first came a “live” poster on Tuesday with a big metal Terminator face crumbling to dust

Then, yesterday, a pre-trailer trailer advertising the fact there would be a trailer. Erm, trailer.

And now we’re just awaiting the big, actual trailer. Can the film possibly be any good? Well, it’s got geek credentials: Daenerys Targaryen herself, Emilia Clarke, is playing Sarah Connor, Matt Smith also appears, and it’s directed by Game of Thrones and Thor: The Dark World helmer Alan Taylor.

But it’s probably going to be rubbish.

Behatted teenage girl acoustica specialist James Bay has been named Brits Critics’ Choice winner of 2015, which is confusing for many reasons, chief among which is that it’s 2014. I’m sure there’s a good reason for this but it’s 20 past 5 and I can’t be bothered to find out what it is.

The point is, this is proof if further proof were needed that James Bay’s hat is a source of great power. Last week we held our own Crap Hat Awards (scroll down to 3.59pm) and he featured prominently. Without the hat he’s nothing. He knows that. And so do we. Congratulations on the win James. Now take of the stupid hat.

Over on another page we’ve done a round-up of the songs that will be offending your ears the most this Christmas. Vengaboys! Porn Stars! Peter Andre! Other things! Go over and have a looksten (a look/listen. Don’t think that will catch on).

First up: electro-psych-indie Aussies Empire of the Sun’s contribution to the Dumb And Dumber To soundtrack. It’s called Wandering Star and, while not a massive departure for them, if wafts past nicely enough. It’s no Ballad Of Peter Pumpkinhead though, is is?

Next, if you’re currently getting your filthy little rocks off to King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard then this, a two-minute slap across the jacksy of psychedelic riffing and astral synths, should be right up your mucky alley.

Occasional Danny Brown botherers Purity Ring are back after more than a year of radio silence with Push Pull, which seems to have sanded whatever few rough edges they used to have clean off. Not necessarily a bad thing – it’s leaves behind beguiling, J-pop-esque synthtronica.

We like Ariel Pink here at the Guide, despite his best efforts to convince us otherwise. He’s laid down vocals (well, a few words) on Pop Levi’s My Pleasure. It sounds a bit like it was cobbled together in a day, which it was, as Levi is releasing a new song every day until he reaches 370. Have a listen.

Last up, mercurial Kentuckian Ellie Herring has stuck the jumpleads on the nipples of Blooms’s Lust, giving it a sticky coat of ambient while she’s at it.

MUSIC UPDATE COMPLETE.

We all know Christopher Walken is a regular twinkletoes

Less of us know about him being a surprisingly good singer for a man who speaks like he’s trying to scratch an itch right at the back of his head

But we’re all aware he’s a dude of some esteem

Finally, Christopher Walken has found a way to combine all of these attributes. More than that, he’s found a way to do it while dressed as Captain Hook. Tonight in the US NBC is showing Peter Pan Live with the mighty Walken playing the scythe-pawed Captain.

You know in Britain we have pantomine, with people like Russell Grant, Sue Pollard and Pudsey the Dog? Well, in the US apparently it’s the same, only not rubbish, with Christopher Walken instead of Joe Swash. And personally I don’t think that’s fair.

...it would probably look something like this.

Dr Quinn – western favoured by nans and nineties daytime mainstay – has been disinterred, dusted off and given a new lease of life. Sort of. Funny Or Die have reassembled the cast for this – Dr Quinn: Morphine Woman, a Breaking Bad-inspired fake reboot “for the Netflix generation”. Frankly, it looks amazing.

In what’s now something of an annual tradition, DJ Earworm – a Californian producer who clearly has too much time on his hands – has perfectly blended 25 of the year’s biggest pop hits into a giant quivering stack of pop hit. It has to be said, it’s actually pretty good. Greater than the sum of its parts. But it is an apposite reminder that a) 95% of popular music is meritless tosh and b) that Adam Levine is still a whomping great asshat who stubbornly remains alive.

Is this a thing now? A full-blown announcement conference for a new film? Well, here it is, and it looks a bit like Top Gear if Top Gear was presented by Alex Zane. I just vommed a bit in my mouth.

What you need to know: The next film’s called SPECTRE, it has Christoph Waltz and Andrew Scott in it, and it’s not out for almost a bloody year so all of this seems wildly unnecessary.

For a more in-depth analysis of the announcement, here’s the Guardian’s round-up All The Things Wot Happened.

Remember the joint interview Fresh Prince progeny Jaden and Willow Smith did in November? The one where they uttered wondrous poppycock like “I write my own novels, and then I read them again” and “you also think about the opposite of an apple”? Well, it turns Jaden’s Twitter feed is stuffed with similarly stunning gobbledyarse, so Buzzfeed took it upon themselves to find out if his tweet-doggerel would work as opera. It, somehow, does, as if Jaden had been waiting for someone to realise this all along.

Just lovely.

In over-reverbed melancholia news, Lana del Rey has unveiled not one but two – that’s TWO – new tracks written for upcoming Tim Burton Margaret Keane biopic Big Eyes. One’s called, you guessed it, Big Eyes, and it sounds something like this. Because it is this.

The other one sounds almost exactly the same as that. And all of Lana del Rey’s other songs for that matter. Here it is: I Can Fly. Spot the difference.

She’s got “a sound”, that’s it. There’s a difference between having “a sound” and wringing out the one idea you’ve got so thoroughly it’s as dry as an in-flight magazine and as thin as a hydrocarbon chain. But I don’t know what it is.

And let’s begin with high street stranger-rage specialist Billy Eichner. Billy loves Taylor Swift. He loves her so much he’s written a song for her – a love story if you will – and it’s pretty catchy. Go in with your eyes open and you’ll never shake it off. Handy because I didn’t know what to put as the first post today - all I had was a blank space, but now everything has changed.

Without an intimate knowledge of Taylor Swift song titles all of that would have been total nonsense.

Anyway, this is superb. Enjoy