WATCHING THE DETECTIVES

The valiant press effort to link every actor in history to True Detective’s second season continue, with Elisabeth Moss and Vince Vaughn the latest to be “in talks”.

D’OH! BRIEN

Conan O’Brien is to perform The Monorail Song from The Simpsons, ie the greatest cartoon musical number ever, with the LA Gay Men’s Choir live at the Hollywood Bowl.

Now you’re Tolkien

“He can do what the hell he likes, he owns New Zealand!”: Steven Moffat gently stokes the ‘Peter Jackson to direct Doctor Who rumours.

Ovo the top

Merch for Drake’s OVO label is apparently trading for stupid prices online. Pro tip: just buy a Sheffield Wednesday top: the owl logo is almost identical.

Big roller

In “Aargh, my eyes!” news, Rick Ross has treated the world to his sex moves in his video for What A Shame. Best described as the “ol’ squash‘n’squeeze”.

A cut above

Tickling our corneas at the mo is a supercut of cinematographer Roger Deakins’s loveliest shots in Coen Brothers films, featuring the frosty fields of Fargo and Jesus’s dance in The Big Lebowski. Watch: bit.ly/CoensCuts

Laughing matter?

A question ITV2 bosses: have you actually watched new signing Dapper Laughs’ viral videos, including the ones with, you know, the casual sexism, racism and homophobia in them? And are you totally cool with it?

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