We don't know where it is or what the weather is like. And we don't know how the celebrity in question ended up being the only person shipwrecked there (Sole survivor? Conspiracy? Divine retribution?), with nothing more than the Complete Works of Shakespeare, a Bible, one book, one luxury item, and a record player, with eight songs to play.
Either way, Desert Island Discs is a BBC Radio 4 institution, and now, after reaching an agreement with the family of the show's founder and presenter Roy Plomley, nearly 69 years' worth of episodes are available to listen to online. Delving into the archives, you might detect the following themes:
"My Way"
Frank Sinatra is, of course, the king of such upbeat-despite-overwhelming-odds ditties. William Hague chose That's Life and John Major went for The Best is Yet to Come. Similarly, Tony Blair chose The Beatles' In My Life, as well as Samuel Barber's incomparably sad Adagio For Strings, which fittingly enough, is best known as the soundtrack to a war movie.
"I'm down with the kids"
Until New Labour, few politicians felt the need to display how close to the throbbing pulse of contemporary culture their musical tastes lay – just contrast future Labour leader John Smith's 1991 choices (Patsy Cline was the sole non-classical choice) and John Major's 1992 picks (The Supremes the only pop tune) with Tony Blair's rocktastic choices of Free and Bruce Springsteen during the heady days of Cool Britannia in 1996. David Cameron went furthest, choosing REM's early gem A Perfect Circle as one of the few matters of musical taste he and his wife shared.
"I'm a bit of a raver on the quiet, you know"
Even those with the most sober public profile feel duty bound to confound expectations. In the middle of a solidly, erm, catholic selection of classical tunes in 2002, Archbishop Rowan Williams picked out The Hedgehog Song by tabla-wielding hippy folksters The Incredible String Band. Boom Shanka, Ro!
"Nepotism begins at home"
It is customary to dedicate a song or two to loved ones. But many go further and request performances by them. Queen guitarist Brian May chose his wife, Anita Dobson performing To Know Him is to Love Him. Iain Duncan Smith included a single by a Euro-pop act by Suzi Lyon whom "no one in this country will have heard of". That was a safe assumption – it was an unreleased demo recording by his sister, Susan.
"No, I really am that boring"
Sometimes guests make no attempt to hide their pedestrian tastes. It was 90s indie-rock all the way for Jamie Oliver. And DJs have been notable for ignoring the whole world of music and playing very safe. Chris Tarrant came close to a perfect storm of easy-listening with Phil Collins, Eric Clapton, The Eagles and Robbie Williams's Angels. Chris Evans, meanwhile, chose the Beatles, U2 and ELO, before finishing with Queen's We Are the Champions. Well, on an island with a population of one, I guess the man with the record player is king.
